We have exciting news!

And No we are not pregnant! (But keep reading.. it's exciting news)

I don't think this comes as a surprise to anyone for us to say that Justin and I are in fact infertile. Dun Dun Dun... We've been married 6 1/2 years and still don't have a child, I think you've all figured that out. Please don't feel bad for us, we have known for more than half of our marriage and we are in a good place with it. While I don't feel comfortable going into all the gory details about our problems to the entire world, it is something that we have worked through together and has brought us closer.

I will keep this part short but it needs to be said! During our marriage we have been asked and told some very rude and mean things. All those posts and blogs about what not to say to an infertile are very true.
I promise you all:
-Us relaxing will not solve our problem,
-IVF could help us but unless we can find an extra $24,000 + per try that isn't going to happen any time soon,
-Yes I would take your child in a heart beat if you offered it to me (I think I freaked someone out once when they asked me if I wanted there baby.. I told them I will gladly take her off your hands. Don't offer it if you aren't willing to follow through.. Hehehe)
- Even if we stop trying.. It will not happen.
- And YES! I see the importance of having children. (I was asked once why I don't see the importance of having children -_- ) 
-We have tried and tried and tried and tried and lost lots of money in unsuccessful pregnancy

Ok rant over with! 

Now on to the exciting part! Justin and I are officially licensed Foster Parents. 

We hope to one day be able to adopt through foster care, but if that doesn't happen we are extremely grateful for the opportunity to be a safe location and parental support to children who are in need. This decision was not made in haste because we want to have children. This is a decision that we have discussed for years and we finally feel like we are in a place financially, emotionally, physically, etc.. to be able to do this!

The reason I haven't blogged since our cruise is because we have been doing the training, shopping for the bedroom, and getting everything ready. It has all paid off and everything is finished. While this letter is tailored more towards family, I think it has a lot of great information in it for everyone!

 
We know that our decision to foster will affect our friends and family as well, and I'm sure many of you have questions, and we are hoping that this blog will help to answer some of your questions and set us all up for success in helping these little people through this rocky patch in their lives.

We’ll tell you now that we’re sorry this is so long, and we’re sorry it sounds so bossy. We were trying to keep it as brief as possible, so it may sound a little “short” in some places. But know that we love you, and we don’t mean for it to sound “short.” If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask – we love talking about this stuff! Otherwise, we’ll let you know as soon as we get our first placement!

Placements to Expect
We are fully licensed as of Tuesday! Yay!  We are open to one foster child, ages five through ten years old. We’re open to any gender or race. We could get a call for a placement as of today or it could be several weeks or even months before we get a call. The kids could be staying with us anywhere from a few days to several years.

Confidentiality
When we get a placement we will share a few details with you (more details to our family members) However the family history, reasons for placement, medical status, and other aspects of the foster children’s lives are confidential and we will not be able to share these details with you.

Pictures
DCFS policy is that pictures of foster children may not be posted online. We won’t be able to post or email pictures of the kids, and we’ll need your cooperation in not posting pictures that you may take of the kids.

Inclusion in Family & Gift Giving Policy
Other than confidentiality issues, we will treat these children as members of our family. We must insist that everyone respect this policy. The foster children will be treated equally to how our biological children would of been treated, especially when it comes to holidays, birthdays, or other gift-giving occasions. We never expect gifts for any of our children. .

Behavior and Discipline
You may observe unusual or seemingly alarming behaviors from the foster children. Accordingly, you may also see us utilizing some unusual discipline techniques (varying from very easy-going to very strict). We ask you to remember that we’re working with a team of professionals on a behavioral and discipline plan tailored to each individual child. If you have concerns that you feel the need to discuss with us, please bring them up in private, away from the child. Comments like “Oh, can’t she just have the ice cream,” when said right in front of the child, can result in a major setback.  

Also, DCFS law states that ONLY the foster parents are allowed to discipline the foster child. If you’ll be spending time with the kids, it will be very important for you to understand and adhere to this policy.

Holidays and Special Events
We LOVE seeing all of our friends and family for holidays and special occasions and certainly hope to be able to incorporate our foster children into these cherished events. However, some foster children may have difficulty with the stress of large groups, new people, new food, and higher expectations for behavior. We ask for your patience and understanding when we may have to miss an event, arrive late, leave early, or perhaps one parent has to stay home with a foster child.

What Do They Call Us? 
Our foster children will have the option of calling us by our first names or “mom and dad.” We’ll invite them to address you with the same terms that our biological children would of used (grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, etc.).

What Do We Call Them?
No child wants to be known as “the foster kid.” We will refer to any children in our care as our kids, our son, our daughter. We ask you to please be sensitive to this, and do not refer to a child or introduce them as a “foster child,” particularly in that child’s presence. Feel free to refer to them as you would with our biological children (my grandchild, niece, nephew, etc.). Or, if that isn’t comfortable for you, you can refer to them as our child (my brother’s son, my friend’s daughter, etc.).

About Building Attachments
The question is sometimes raised with foster care if it isn’t detrimental to encourage children to become attached to their foster family. In fact, there was a time about 20 years ago when foster children were intentionally moved to new foster homes on a regular basis to avoid this attachment. We now know that learning to build attachments is one of the most important elements to living a happy and satisfied life. As children bond with us they gradually learn the joy that comes from bonding and how to trust safe adults, and it builds their sense of self-worth. If the child can learn to attach successfully, they can then repeat that attachment process with others throughout their life. This is a vital process, even if they are not with us forever. 

The challenge is for us to bond, fearing the pain of losing the relationship when they leave. We expect that you may have this fear as well, but we ask for you to keep the children’s best interests in mind, and open your heart to them.

We cannot wait to get our first placement! We know it will be hard and challenging, but it will be exciting and worth the wait. Thank you all for your support and love during this time in our life! 

Love, 
Justin and Debbie 

Mexico Cruise- Sunday

Justin and I finally went on an adult vacation! We took a 3 night cruise on the Carnival Imagination to Ensenada, Mexico. We loved every minute of it! 

Wednesday- Travel to Long Beach

Thursday- Leave Long Beach

Friday- Ensenada

Saturday- At Sea

Sunday- Arrive at Long Beach/Travel back home

To make it easier for everyone, I'm going to break down the blog post by days. Yay!

Saturday's post is -----> Here!!

Sunday was debarkation day
It was sad to leave because we were having so much fun and I was finally get use to the rocking so I wasn't as sick. I was extremely grateful to get back into service so I could check on my babies back home. That's probably the only thing I didn't like on our cruise; being out of contact with the person watching my house. Guess I'm just a worrier and want to make sure my puppies, piggies, and house are safe :)

It was nice not having to worry about our bags in the morning, and just carrying around our carry-ons to breakfast. Thank goodness they served breakfast in the morning too!

Hurray for cell service! Justin was order car parts.. Typical man!

Last breakfast! Justin had his normal omelet with chicken sausage. 

We were able to debark at 9:45 and be the first group out of the ship after the self-debarkers. I would of loved to have just a little bit more time.. but with a 7 hour drive back it was great to be off by 10.

The debark off!

We made it through customs pretty easily and our luggage was already there! Thank you Faster To The Fun! Grabbed our bags, waited for the shuttle, and headed back to the hotel.

I know I've done this picture but it was taken while we were waiting. I think he looks like a pimp!

I think we left the hotel around 10:45 and headed on the road!

  There's so much to look at... Not really!

I had to protect my sunburnt legs

It got soooooo hot that we tried to stop in Hesperia and get some ice cream... but of course the Mcdonalds didn't have any. Lame... Thanks Hesperia! But we did stop in Bakersfield and get some.

By the time we hit Baker it was 110 degrees! Gross! We decided not to stop at the Mad Greek again because of how hot it was. We got stopped in traffic in Vegas (of course) but finally made it through and stopped at the Dunkin Donuts again :)

Gross!

Look it's Helios one! (Yes that's a Fallout Vegas reference) 

By the time we finally got home it was around 8. We crashed and got ready for Justin's grandparents coming the next day!

It made it all worth it when we came home to this!

It was so much fun!! I cannot wait to do it again! Alaska??

Mexico Cruise- Saturday

Justin and I finally went on an adult vacation! We took a 3 night cruise on the Carnival Imagination to Ensenada, Mexico. We loved every minute of it! 

Wednesday- Travel to Long Beach

Thursday- Leave Long Beach

Friday- Ensenada

Saturday- At Sea

Sunday- Arrive at Long Beach/Travel back home

To make it easier for everyone, I'm going to break down the blog post by days. Yay!

Friday Post is here ------> Here!!

Saturday was our Fun Day at Sea! 

Sun rise was at 5:44 am and I really wanted to see one while we were at sea. But I was sadly disappointed because it was over cast. 

5:30 in the morning right at the top of the boat!

Still beautiful but no sun rise :( 

We couldn't believe that there will still people up at 5:30 when we were getting up. Man.. We are not like that (anymore at least) 

After we watched the "sunrise" we went back to bed and got up around 9:30 ish... ok it was more like 10. Seriously that room is so great for sleeping in! It's super duper dark in there. Luckily, on the sea day, they know people will be sleeping in and they served a brunch until 1. 

After showering and finally getting ready for the day we walked down to brunch around 11:30. That's actually a normal time for us to eat breakfast on the weekend. 

I didn't get a chance to get a picture of the menu or our food... but I ate pancakes with bacon and eggs, and Justin ordered an omelet with chicken sausage and turkey bacon. But we did get to eat dessert with our breakfast witch was fun! 

I had the triple chocolate brownies. Don't judge :)

Justin had cheese cake

I wasn't feeling too well since we had been sailing for 18 hours so we went into the adult only area (can you tell we really liked that spot). Justin went into the hot tub with all the 40 year old wanna be frat boys, and I laid in the chair and fell asleep listening to music. 

But falling asleep in the half shade/half sun as its down side... especially for pastey people like us. 

Yup gotta love it! 

Around 2 we came back inside and I needed to sleep some more to calm my ears and tummy. Justin sat in the atrium and read and I slept :) Yay for relaxing!! 

At 3 we went to the Dynasty Lounge and watched the end of the Love and Marriage show while we waited for Bingo.. Yes we played Bingo!! Told you we loved that game  :) 

Not a stamping one but still just as fun!

The assistant cruise director called off the numbers!

  After bingo we went up to the Lido deck for a snack at the buffet and they were having a dance party! 

After our snack we waiting in the Dream bar lounge for some Harry Potter trivia and there was a performer playing for the people walking by. 

We would talk with him in between songs and give him suggestions to play. We tried to get the crowd going by clapping and singing along. 

Sadly.. they seemed to have forgotten about the trivia game and we went to the taste bar to try what they had to offer today.

Apparently the picture wants to be sideways

After we enjoyed our little taste of food we went and got our free play at one of the slot machines and played at the arcade!

At 6:30 we walked back to the Dynasty Lounge to watch the game show that do on the ship. It was really fun!! They twist up some of the classic Hasbro games and called up a total of 16 kids and adults to play the games. Each of the contestants got a little hand held game to take home and the winner got a whole bunch of games to take home.

We sat up top in their giant circle couches.

The bowling lane set up for Yahtzee Bowling

The two workers getting the crowd excited and picked the teams

The Red Team

And the Blue Team with the Cruise Director "Goose"

Operation Skee Ball

Each person on the winning team got to pick a card. Each card had a mystery amount of money and the person with the highest amount won the grand prize. The little girl on the right won the grand prize.

After we watched the show we waiting in line for dinner. Since we went after the show we waited in line about 10 minutes.

We both had the beef tenderloin.

Justin had ratatouille as a side dish and I had a baked potato. 

Justin had two chocolate melting cakes for dessert.

I had one cake and the cheese platter again. Love it!

After dinner we needed to pack and get our luggage out in the hallway. Since we had faster to the fun our bags were taken first and delivered first to the port.

The long corridor of luggage and rooms

At 10:30 we needed to be in the casino. We were able to do a drawing with our bingo card and of course had to be there for the drawing. We didn't win but that's ok!

 

After the drawing we went through the stores one last time and I found some lime green/gold cuffs for $5 a piece. I'll grab a picture later. 

We fell asleep and got ready for debarkation day 

 

Mexico Cruise - Friday

Justin and I finally went on an adult vacation! We took a 3 night cruise on the Carnival Imagination to Ensenada, Mexico. We loved every minute of it! 

Wednesday- Travel to Long Beach

Thursday- Leave Long Beach

Friday- Ensenada

Saturday- At Sea

Sunday- Arrive at Long Beach/Travel back home

To make it easier for everyone, I'm going to break down the blog post by days. Yay! 

Thursday's post is ------> Here!

Friday was Mexico!!! 

I ended up getting up at 6 am and I ran out into the hallway to see if we had made it into the port yet. I was just a little excited :) Sadly we weren't quite there yet so I went back to bed. The down side to being in an interior room is it's completely dark and easy to sleep in late. Late for us was 8 am when Justin's alarm went off and we didn't want to get up! 

Breakfast!

The port from Lido Deck.

 I really really really wanted to see the giant Mexico flag but they didn't have it up :( So a picture from Google will have to do.

 

 

My Mexico dress!

This is what Justin wore under his shirt in Mexico. Hiding the money, our cards/passports, and his phone

When we got off the ship there was a huge Baja 500 festival off road racing thingy in the main street. They had it all closed off and they were throwing frisbees into the crowd! It was crazy!! We first walked to the flag post.

How cool is that statue!

The ship from the flag poll! 

 

 

After we stopped at the "flag" we walked up to main tourist street... figured it had to be a little safer than the side streets.

 Craziness!! Of course everyone was trying to get you to come into their shops. We went into two shops and purchased a few items that we wanted to get. Justin got a leather belt and a thumb ring, and I got a bracelet and a thumb ring as well! All silver :)

His new ring is the one on his right hand

 We walked around the streets a little more but I got tired of being bombarded by people wanting me to buy things, and I was getting burnt.

'We ate lunch on the boat. The only thing that was open at that time was the buffet and the grill at the Lido deck.

Justin went to the Mongolian Grill

And I ate at the grill.. as you can see I ate my nachos before I could take a picture. Sorry..not sorry

 

After lunch we decided to go in the hot tub in the adult only area! It was lovely to not has kids screaming or 40 year old men pretending to be frat boys again.

We then got ready for the formal night. We wanted to get our picture taken while we were all dressed up but we also wanted to watch the dock runners who were late for the ship!  Gotta love wasted people!

A little taste of my dress. Watching the runner!

We finally got everyone and pulled away from the Port.

The Mexico coast guard escorted us out

and our pilot boat.

 

 

After we watched us sail away we walked down and waited in line for dinner. Of course it was crazy packed but totally worth the wait!

I had the Caesar salad as a starter.

Justin's spinach salad as a starter

Justin's sea bass

Justin's lobster tail

My chicken

I had a side of mac and cheese

Justin's dessert... I had the chocolate cake again... 

Do you think I'm attractive Justin?

Clapping alone with their dance. I felt sorry for the ones who were embarrassed to do it.

 Love the sea sickness bands!

After dinner we got ready to watch one of the comedy shows.. I can't remember quite what we did before the show at 10:15 but it wasn't that amazing if we can't remember. I do remember that we sat outside in the dark so I would be ready to sit in the back of the rocking boat.

Justin pretty much put on shorts and left his dress socks on! I thought he looked like a Yiddish yodeling boy with his knee high socks!  

the joys of seasickness.. the circle from the band.

We enjoyed the comedy of Chas Elstner at 10:15 and laughed so much! After that we pretty much crashed at went to bed.

Yes it's a picture of a picture. I haven't quite gotten around to scanning it yet! Don't judge!